Thursday, January 15, 2009

I Grieve

I Grieve, originally uploaded by Thomas Lester.

Last night, instead of having our normal Wednesday night youth service (called "Element"), we had a memorial service for two of our teens that died in a car wreck. It was a sobering experience for sure. This photo was taken at the table where kids wrote notes, prayers, and memories for their friends and left it at the table.

Those who know me well know that I'm not big "griever". However, those who know me well also know that I do get deeply saddened by events like this. My son asked me last night if I was sad for the two kids who died. I told him "no... but I am sad about the pain that their friends and family are going through". I didn't know them well. I didn't really even know them at all, but I know they were loved by many who will miss them dearly. For me, dying isn't the sad part. It's the void in the lives left behind that is sad.

Last night, I found myself thinking of lyrics to a song by Peter Gabriel as I watched the tears flow down many kids faces. Peter writes, "There's nothing yet has really sunk in, Looks like it always did". When I showed up last night, it was like any other night. Even with with photos of the kids, candles, and cards it was hard to "get it" that two of our teens were gone. I don't even think their friends were getting it. I saw some walk around the place with a smile on their face, laughing with friends and then it would hit them and their face would change. Tears would roll down their face. Even if it was just for a moment.

I grieve for those left behind that have to deal with the new huge void in their lives.

I Grieve
It was only one hour ago
It was all so different then
Theres nothing yet has really sunk in
Looks like it always did
This flesh and bone
Its just the way that you would tied in
Now theres no-one home

I grieve for you
You leave me
so hard to move on
Still loving whats gone
They say life carries on
Carries on and on and on and on

The news that truly shocks is the empty empty page
While the final rattle rocks its empty empty cage
And I cant handle this

I grieve for you
You leave me
Let it out and move on
Missing whats gone
They say life carries on
They say life carries on and on and on

Life carries on
In the people I meet
In everyone thats out on the street
In all the dogs and cats
In the flies and rats
In the rot and the rust
In the ashes and the dust
Life carries on and on and on and on
Life carries on and on and on

Its just the car that we ride in
A home we reside in
The face that we hide in
The way we are tied in
And life carries on and on and on and on
Life carries on and on and on

Did I dream this belief?
Or did I believe this dream?
Now I can find relief
I grieve

I Grieve - Peter Gabriel

1 comment:

jdscott said...

Tom- this is an exceptional blog....thank you so much for sharing it. i look forward to how God's gonna keep using us in the months to come. thankful for all you and the family have done to make element that special place. i never want to lose that community that you've helped to build. now on to some superbowl party pictures and thoughts !